Many years ago I learned about accountability, which was a totally new and life changing concept for me. Being accountable means that when there are problems in life that one should looks to see how they contributed to the problem. Accountability made my life easier by diminishing finger pointing.
Now, many years later I have encounter my next life changing concept, and that has to to with entitlement. A teacher that I follow pointed out that all of us feel that we are entitled to many things, whether it be a way of life, possessions, how we are spoken to...the list is endless. Really taking this in and applying it has also made my life easier because it removes some resentment when I don't get what I feel entitled to.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Give and Take
As a child I gave away a lot of toys as a way I now recognize as trying to buy friendships. As I grew older I found that I was still a generous giver, but after a while when the giving was not returned in a relationship I would burn out on giving and pull away from the friendship which seemed unbalanced and thus draining. I find that later in life I now gravitate to friendships where there is an equal balance of give and take. The higher ground would be to give with no strings attached and I am getting better at that although I still have a ways to go. I am also getting better at saying no to those who are predominantly takers when I cannot get to the place of giving altruistically because it doesn't feel good to be used. There is probably a paradox here in learning to be generous in giving, but not always.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Happiness
For too long I thought that happiness came from events and people outside myself, but I have come to understand that happiness is a choice. One can choose to be happy or joyful regardless of the circumstance. Our thoughts are so powerful in creating our experience and later thus influencing our health. In a sense, our thoughts have the power to create or destroy our life experience. I do believe that some part of our thoughts radiates out and others pick up not the thoughts themselves but the mood created by them and they react to us accordingly. I even think that we attract into our lives people with similar thought patterns.
When I was young I thought that people bonded by commiserating over something that wasn't ideal, such as bonding by complaining about the weather, or how hard a test was for example. This attracted into my life people who became friends by talking about problems and that didn't do anyone much good and wasn't all that fun. Now I focus on happy productive thoughts and I attract much happier people as friends.
When I was young I thought that people bonded by commiserating over something that wasn't ideal, such as bonding by complaining about the weather, or how hard a test was for example. This attracted into my life people who became friends by talking about problems and that didn't do anyone much good and wasn't all that fun. Now I focus on happy productive thoughts and I attract much happier people as friends.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
How Dragonfly Park Came To Be
So often when I look back at how something special came to be, it is often through a series of events that I couldn't have orchestrated if I had tried. It's as if the special something was just meant to come to life and I was a bit player in the action. There were synchronous events that came together several winters ago. James and I decided to replace an aged fence on the property and an exceedingly rare ice and wind storm proceeded the tear down. During the ice storm I watched as a large ash tree came down on the neighbors house and watched a few on my trees split as well taking down parts of the fence that was already on its way out. In response to seeing the tree land on the neighbors roof I decided to be a good neighbor and have a grand old white oak that was behind our back fence on land covered up to the eyeball with blackberries highly pruned to reduce the weight of the mighty tree limb aiming towards the neighbors property. The arborist who pruned the magnificent white oak also cut back blackberries on the banks of the storm water creek that was obscured behind our back fence. This trimming back of the blackberries happened at the same time as the fence builder demolished the back fence. Voila! There was the prettiest creek with tiny water falls at the back of our property. We knew that it was there but had never seen it because of the thorny thicket obscuring it's view. I immediately redesigned the new fence and had a decorative metal fence put in that would give us a year round view of the creek. The property was ours but ordinances would not allow us to fence it in or build on it because the storm water drops underground on our property.
With uncanny luck a friend knew just the right consultant for us to hire to help design the park. Planting was proceeded with a year of taking a tool similar to a pick axe to dig way down in the clay to get to the corms of the ancient blackkberry plants, some the size of canteloupes. Land was sculpted, hundreds of large rocks moved around, trails were created all with a permaculture method of helping to bring the dense clay soil back to life with leaves and bark chips.
The first year the plants went in the baby slept. The second year they crept. By year three they leapt.
The park has one creek that has gotten about 11 feet wide during our wettest winter and 2 winter springs that flow from neighboring land. Many plants have edible berries: huckleberries, gooseberries, salmon berries, salal, wild plum, indian plum red currants, blue elderberry, black elderberry, chokecherry, emerald creeper and strawberry as well as hazelnuts. The herbs oregano, thyme and rosemary are also part of the Mediterranean section of the park. Flowers abound in spring and summer.
The city declared our land part of a wildlife corridor in the city so we coexist with many birds, deer, raccoon, brown squirrels and gray squirrels. Best of all the park is home to many dragonflies and damselflies. At this moment 6 gray squirrels are racing around the park going up and down and round and round the white oaks and birds splash in the vernal ponds that in winter are part of our several small waterfalls.
A friend remarked that I should find people who are sad and have them come sit in the park to help them cheer up. Maybe nature does have healing powers.
With uncanny luck a friend knew just the right consultant for us to hire to help design the park. Planting was proceeded with a year of taking a tool similar to a pick axe to dig way down in the clay to get to the corms of the ancient blackkberry plants, some the size of canteloupes. Land was sculpted, hundreds of large rocks moved around, trails were created all with a permaculture method of helping to bring the dense clay soil back to life with leaves and bark chips.
The first year the plants went in the baby slept. The second year they crept. By year three they leapt.
The park has one creek that has gotten about 11 feet wide during our wettest winter and 2 winter springs that flow from neighboring land. Many plants have edible berries: huckleberries, gooseberries, salmon berries, salal, wild plum, indian plum red currants, blue elderberry, black elderberry, chokecherry, emerald creeper and strawberry as well as hazelnuts. The herbs oregano, thyme and rosemary are also part of the Mediterranean section of the park. Flowers abound in spring and summer.
The city declared our land part of a wildlife corridor in the city so we coexist with many birds, deer, raccoon, brown squirrels and gray squirrels. Best of all the park is home to many dragonflies and damselflies. At this moment 6 gray squirrels are racing around the park going up and down and round and round the white oaks and birds splash in the vernal ponds that in winter are part of our several small waterfalls.
A friend remarked that I should find people who are sad and have them come sit in the park to help them cheer up. Maybe nature does have healing powers.
On Creativity
A life changing book for me, many years ago, was "Eighth Day of Creation". The author was saying that God is a creator and we are made in God's image and therefore we need to create to be fulfilled in life. That struck me as true and I began creating and life has indeed been more fulfilling ever since, as I create beauty inside and out. It is so very important to bring forth all your gifts, talents and abilities...to be true to who you really are deep in your soul and express that in the world, in word and deed. Each one of us in our unique expression is needed to make this world a better place.
Forgiveness
Today I remind myself of the relationship between forgiving others and my own health. Holding a grudge can settle into the body contributing to health challenges down the road and I certainly don't want to do that to myself so I choose to forgive even if it is not easy.
Be Here Now
The mystics of world religions urge us to stay in the present moment. How much easier it is to remain joyful by savoring what is around us right now.
Time of Life
With each decade comes new life focus and lessons. As I approach 60 I am reflecting on the meaningful lessons of the soul still to be learned or more fully applied. I share my lessons with those who care to ponder with me. One observation is how much more deeply my love and caring are for those who have been in my life for a while, while more easily holding lightly and letting love ones follow their own path without my attachment to outcome.
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